It’s been a while since I’ve written a post – I’ve been bringing together a working draft of my next book. This has been harder than I’d imagined… and I was also rudely interrupted by a nasty bout of flu. The draft is now with some readers for comment and I’m taking a break from it… and finding a little headspace to think about other things.
The combination of the effort on the book, ongoing life and work, and the draining effects of illness left me depleted – and my tendency to anger and aggression is much closer to the surface. I’m more likely to erupt in moments of frustration, resentment or self-righteousness, and this feels like an erosion of the inner work I’ve done in this area.
All this indicates that it’s time to replenish reserves of body, mind and spirit and I long for the immersion experience of retreat. However, this won’t be possible until the book is published. And so, I’ve been looking at what I might do now. My first steps towards restoring some balance and equanimity have been rest, walking and time with friends. Then, from June, I’ll join some Buddhist online weekend retreats.
For now, I have some new Saturday viewing, which contrasts starkly with that described in my last post! I’m joining a series of seminars that explore how ancient wisdoms from Buddhist contemplative practices can combine with cutting-edge findings from neuroscience to support us to engage with the world in a more positive way. The seminars bring together Buddhist monk and teacher, Mingyur Rinpoche, neuroscientist, Dr Richard Davidson, and contemplative scientist, Dr Cortland Dahl. In conversation with each other, they describe how we can transform the challenges and adversities of modern life into opportunities for personal growth.
In truth, I wasn’t sure about signing up for the seminars. I can struggle to make sense of on-screen conversations between an array of faces and was concerned about this. In fact, the seminars are set up as one person at-a-time on screen. There’s also a palpable sense of three people talking and thinking together and, throughout, each seems to be aware of the others. It feels like I’m listening to their conversation.
In the first session, two hours flew by. It was completely absorbing and a brilliant way to reconnect with what matters. Each speaker was knowledgeable, thoughtful and considered, and the movement between speakers was skilfully woven into a coherent whole. By the end of it, my system had settled and I felt connected, inspired, resourced. The session included a couple of short mindfulness practices – and this, together with the quality of energy and presence of the speakers, made life feel more workable. I remembered that, in reality, the biggest challenge of life is dealing with myself and the way I’m relating to people and/or situations.
Whilst I know this, I can’t always put it into practice. That’s the ongoing work – building capacity for changing my relationship to unwelcome events. It’s the essence of the Leadership Embodiment practices that have been the backbone of my work for fifteen years. It’s very familiar ground – and yet remains work-in-progress.
The second seminar focused on distraction and outlined practical strategies for lessening its impact on us. First, we become aware of the source of distraction, and then find ways to either reduce our contact with it, reframe it or move beyond our preoccupation with it. To support ourselves to make positive changes in our lives, we can use these three approaches – named remove, transform, transcend – individually or together.
These seminars have come at the right time for me. Alongside my general feeling of depletion, I have an ongoing challenge with a neighbour who brings out the worst in me. Since I don’t want to move house, I must find a way to change my relationship to the situation. These seminars remind me that I can consciously influence my perception and experience, and inspire me to work on this.
The remaining seminars will explore antidotes to emotional imbalance, addiction and unhealthy habits, and social divisions. The final session will invite us to develop life-long practices for personal transformation – a subject which is close to my heart.
Contemplations
- What ongoing challenges are present in your life?
- What one thing would, if consistently practised, support you to engage with this challenge in a more positive way?
