When writing the final chapters of Approaching Difference Differently, I coined the phrase ‘ending with the beginning in mind’. This reflects a premise that, for conversations that take place over a series of gatherings, it’s helpful to be aware of the way each encounter starts and finishes. The opening and closing moments of a conversation can be key to supporting a group to stay connected to a complex thread of exploration.
I’m known for saying ‘a conversation doesn’t end when people leave it’. When we talk together, each of us pays attention to different aspects of what unfolds – and some things remain with us for further reflection, exploration or analysis. Essentially, any interaction leaves a trace – perhaps something we found interesting, annoying, puzzling or frustrating, or perhaps something we want to celebrate, share, check out or verify. We ruminate (or not) on reactions, questions and other forms of unfinished business, and we may talk things through with others: our thinking develops or becomes entrenched.
One way or another, a follow-on conversation is unlikely to start from the same place an earlier one finished. And yet we tend to assume that we’ll pick up where we left off. The dialogue practice of check-in can go some way to remedying this as it offers an opportunity to reset and clarify current ground. We can enhance check-in by preparing for it in the way we end the preceding conversation – we can ‘check out’ in a way that clarifies where we’ve got to, individually and together. In essence, how we end influences how we re-engage.
In the book, I suggest three ways of ending whilst bearing beginnings in mind. We can:
- circle back to initial intentions and calibrate how we’re doing and what’s changing;
- consider the beginning of the next conversation and explore what will support us to open it well; and/or
- inquire into any habits or routines that may be limiting what’s possible and agree to adopt new practices to liberate potential.
With these principles in mind as we end 2025, I wonder how they might inform how we bring the year to a close and prepare for a new one. For example, we might reflect on the gap between what we envisaged for 2025 and what unfolded in reality: what can we learn from this? We might wonder how we can consciously begin 2026, given who we are in this moment? And/or we might reflect on our habits and the way they constrain or resource us: what might we change for the coming year?
For my part, I began 2025 full of optimism – and a plan to publish my book in June. I also expected to begin a transition into a less workful life. In fact, the sustained effort of bringing the book into being challenged and depleted me and I worked harder than I have for several years. There was a gap between my plans and what transpired. To keep going, I adopted pragmatic habits of eating and exercising and I neglected those who are important to me. As 2026 dawns, I’ll be going on retreat to regroup and regain healthier ways of being.
A second gap arose in relation to the quality of energy that I intended to foster for 2025. The conscious choice to cultivate a particular quality of presence is a Leadership Embodiment (LE) practice and, in the past, I’ve worked with qualities such as spaciousness, lightness and softness. This year, I chose simplicity, thinking it would support my transition into a less workful life. However, somewhere along the way, I realised that I wasn’t actively working with any quality – in fact, I’d forgotten what I’d chosen. Circling back, I realised that, in practice, I’d been cultivating the quality of fortitude – and then consciously made this my quality for the remainder of the year.
And so … to truly begin my journey towards a less workful life in 2026, I’ll be exploring the quality of restfulness. The practice is to wonder: what if my orientation towards life and events could be just a little more restful? I also plan to … make fewer plans!
Contemplations
- How did this year unfold for you? How was it different to what you imagined? What can you learn from this?
- What matters to you? How will you consciously reflect this in the way you begin the new year?
